I Don’t Know, and That’s Okay

I want to make so much money.

And at the same time, I’m scared. Scared that I’ll never live up to my potential. Scared that I won’t get the chance to make it. Scared that I’ll stand in my own way.

I don’t really know what my dream is.

Sometimes I think it’s peace. Sometimes I think it’s money. Other times it feels bigger than that. Or smaller. Or just different.

Because in the middle of all this confusion, there’s one thing I do know: I want to help. I don’t know in what way yet, or what form it will take. Maybe it’s helping one person feel seen. Maybe it’s creating something that makes life easier. Maybe it’s building something bigger—an animal shelter, an orphanage, a home for the elderly. I don’t know.

But I know I want to help.

I want to do. That’s the best way I can put it. To create, to build, to own, to sell, to try. Anything, everything.
But the truth is—I don’t know where to begin.

And maybe that’s okay.

I don’t have a single dream I can put into one sentence. I want too many things. To be wealthy and free, to have a family, to explore, to help, to teach, to learn, to laugh, to cry, to travel, to rest. To have the choice.

Some days, it feels confusing. Other days, it feels exciting.

I don’t know who to ask, or where to start. I don’t know what I “should” be doing. But maybe that’s the point—maybe it’s okay not to know yet.

Maybe it’s okay to be lost.

Because being lost also means I’m still searching, still trying, still moving. And maybe that’s all that matters right now.